it's time to move on...

i wish i could turn back the clock to look at you in the passenger seat as you'd lay sleeping and plead for forgiveness, but i know that i'd be inaudible through the veil of dreams…i wanted to play you a song from radio across car wrecks and boredom, so you could believe in me again. but the battery died last year and i don’t know how to begin its repair.

i woke up this morning, thinking about you again.

i can't believe it's almost been a year that you've been gone - ripped away, leaving nothing but a gaping hole in my chest. but i know i'm not the only one who feels like this.

i go to your facebook page from time to time, hoping to find an updated status, wishing that it was just an elaborate 'joke' or misunderstanding. i still can't seem to wrap my mind around the fact that i'll never see you again, touch your skin, hold you, love you. i feel broken and defective without you, like a tin man, still trying to swing my axe, even though my joints are clogged with rust. it's hard when nothing makes sense, i feel so confused and cheated.

as jack says "i wish i could quit you", instead you "quit" all of us. i'm learning, slowly, how to carry on. i don't think i'll ever stop missing you.

x